Personal Life

Personal Life

Wow! It’s been some time!

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Since I posted last.

I’m not sure if there posts are still being forwarded through to my Facebook wall but we’ll find out. Anyway, since I last wrote I have:

-Moved back to Old Orchard Beach in my own private apartment

-Started dating Ariel, someone I am very fond of

-Continued my work at FOX23 and am enjoying it immensely

-Formed and competed on a company bowling team at with FOX and are 1 game away from winning the championship

-Taken a paid vacation from work and am currently enjoying that.

Hopefully all will stay happy in my life, it’s been a while since I’ve been in this condition!

 

Happy Holidays!

-J

When is it real?

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When is it real? When someone says that they have fun with you and want to be around you, how do you know it’s real? I’m struggling with that very question right now.. This girl knows that I like her a lot, she’s like a breath of fresh air to me.. She has so many good qualities about her, but there is something missing. I just feel like it’s not going to progress any further.. There are times when we are apart that she will be a totally different person, very “willing”. But when we are together it’s like it never comes up, she’s a straightedge.. It’s so confusing but I can’t get an answer out of her.. I feel like maybe she just wants to be friends, or maybe she’s just not into me like that.. We’ve been out three times and it seems like we’re just stuck in the mud.. I don’t know if I should tell her how I really feel, or if I should just say goodbye before I get hurt again..

Maybe it was too good to be true?

A return to the usual stuff

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I’m back after a long break not writing. Elizabeth and I have split up permanently and I’m dating Sarah. She’s great and she has an awesome 2 (soon to be 3) year old boy. They keep me pretty busy. My life and relationship isn’t perfect, but there’s never been a period where it has been. So all in all everything is normal for me.

I’m also still working at FOX 23, the job is great and so are the folks there. I’m very happy with my job right now..

It’s too hot to write anymore, gonna go lay down.. Until next time…

-Jay

The Beginning Of The End

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Tonight marks the end of another chapter in my life, It’s my last night at Bayside Bowl, which means that for one day I’ll be unemployed. Starting Monday, I’ll be the Chief Operator and Assistant Chief Engineer at WPFO-TV, that’s FOX 23 for you guys in Maine.

Things with Elizabeth and I are difficult, but we are working on our problems and hopefully will get everything straightened out before too long. I love her very much and couldn’t imagine living without her, especially now. We have a long way to go but only she and I can fix our problems, nobody else. I remain motivated and optimistic.

I’m sure I’ll have a long post Monday talking about some of my new duties. Until then, Stay thirsty my friends!

-Jay

Life Changes For The Better

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So Elizabeth and I have reconciled, we have talked about things going on between us and we also have learned something very, very amazing. I can’t release details yet but I will very soon.

Things are turning around for me and I couldn’t be happier, I’ve got my new job starting next Monday, I’ve got Elizabeth, and we’ve got happiness between us. It couldn’t get much better from here…

Stay tuned!
-J

The Terrible Twos

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So I’ve recognized a pattern with my relationships that I need to talk about. It seems that most of my recent relationships have lasted either 2 months exactly or end within a week of reaching that 2 month mark. Tori Rossignol, Danyle, Deserei and Liz, all either 2 months exactly or thereabouts. Bonus, Tori Morrill was 2 years..
It’s something with twos that I just can’t understand, maybe someday I’ll figure it out but for now I suppose I can just break up my relationship schedule into 2 month segments.

I wonder who the next contestant will be….

-J

I’m not supposed to be here…

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For a long time I’ve never quite understood what the problem was, but I think I have finally figured it out.. I’m just not supposed to be here.. Somewhere along the road I’ve traveled, something should have ended up differently… I dunno if it was when I was hit by a car when I was really little, or last spring when i tried to OD, but something should have ended differently for me and I shouldnt be here… I don’t want to be here…

My body and my emotions cant handle anymore stress like this… I’ve gotten to the point where I’m afraid something is going to happen medically because the results of these breakups have gotten worse and worse on me..  I couldn’t even see straight, I couldn’t breathe..  My body is breaking down because of the stress I’m under…

Now she says she needs space, i asked her not to throw our relationship away over this, and she said ok but i know that shes never coming back..  Ellen didnt, Tori Rossignol didnt, Tori Morrill didnt and now Danyle wont..

Burn Out

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No I’m not talking about the awesome video game for XBOX 360 or things you do with your souped up ricer. I;m talking about the kind of burn out you get when you’re overworked and under rested. I got called in today on my day off, which happens a lot, but I was kind of upset about it today because I hadn’t slept well last night, and I was looking forward to a whole day where I didn’t have to do anything at all, I could just lounge around in my PJs and not have to work. Just a whole 24 hour period to myself.

Cue the boss texting me at 3:30 asking me of I could come in early tonight because he needs a hand with some repairs. Wait, come in early? On my day off?! No… Of course I replied, “today was supposed to be my day off, but I guess I can come in.” So i quickly get dressed and hit the road. I’m not happy. Don’t get me wrong, I like my job, but too much of anything is not good for you, and its bad enough I had to give up a day off to supervise league play on Sunday nights. Now I have to give up my Wednesday, which i got in return for the sundays. So now apparently I had been reduced to having 1 day off a week, because my boss doesn’t want to close.

I can’t keep working 6 day weeks, I’ve already reached burnout, and it’s not getting any better not having any time to myself anymore. I get out of work Tuesday morning at 1:30-2am, fall asleep around 4am, and wake up arounf 4pm. that leaves me not many hours to be able to do what I want on my one day off.

Something needs to change..

Hangin’ Round…

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So I’m not gonna blog about my new girlfriend because every time i do it seems that it ends up falling apart short thereafter. So instead, as I sit here sipping my bourbon and ginger ale, I will blog about my weekend plans with some girl i know. ;)

It’s this girl’s birthday tomorrow (today) and I have gotten her a present. I can’t say right now what it is but I’ll tell you in the next post. Im going home after my adult beverage and going to bed only to wake up super early on my day off to drive to Bangor and spend the day with her. I can’t wait.

Right now however as I’m sipping my bourbon, I’m thinking to myself..  “What if this is the end of my troubles?”, “What if I’ll never have to worry again?”. I’d really like to turn my life around as far as my finances go. I’d like to clear up my debt which has surpassed $10000. Hospital bills, a credit card and a few other miscellaneous things.

Until next.

Struggling to find what I’m looking for…

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So I’m sitting here at work watching all these women my age walk around and I think to myself, “what is wrong with me?”, “Why can’t I find someone when there are women crawling all over this place?”. I don’t have the answers I need, and I’m still single.

I’ve had a couple dates, but they’ve all been craigslist people. I have never ever picked up a date by meeting someone in person and asking them out. I just don’t have it in me.. Not to mention women don’t exactly go out of their way to talk to me.. I mean am I really that bad? I don’t consider myself model-quality but I also don’t think I’m hideous.

I’ve seen guys far uglier than I am with gorgeous women, and I just don’t understand what the problem is.. Am I really destined to be single for life? Is this some kind of terrible punishment for something I did in the past? When will it be my turn?

New Home

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So after a small delay, we have finally moved into the new location. It’s decent. I’m happy and I think nick is too. It’s relatively inexpensive, and has enough room for both of us and our stuff.

Photos and more details tomorrow!

Movin’ On Up

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Well, it happened kind of suddenly but I found a place to live and cool thing about it is it’s gonna be nick and I sharing the house! So I’m pumped! More details to come soon!

Bowling for Sanity

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Well, well, well, what to do when your mind is melting down and your one friend works a lot? Hang out at work!! Of course my work consists of an awesome bowling center with a full bar and kitchen, so it makes it rather easy to justify going there. Of course I usually end up punching in and working. I don’t mind, I like money just as much as the next guy. We just hired a new guy this week, the boyfriend of my friend’s sister, he’s a good kid, I hope he’s able to learn quickly. I also found out a few weeks ago that we will be getting health insurance which the company will be paying almost all of. So I’m super excited!!

Of course my love life is still not great, it’s getting better but it’s not what it used to be and that makes me sad because I really wish it would hurry up and get great again so I can be happy on all angles..

I <3 you...

-J

I Quit

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That’s it, I quit. As of today, I am off women for good.. I have resigned myself to the singles life, empty of any love or romance. It’s all over because I have been played for the last time..

Fuck you all and burn in hell.

Love,
Jay

Time To Push For Tougher Laws

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Here’s a thought, make dishonesty a crime. They already have the lying under oath thing, time to make it apply to everyday people and situations.

A wife lies to her husband? Guilty!
A girlfriend lies to her boyfriend? Guilty!

Of course I obviously think this should be both ways, that’s fair, but I think that we’re focusing on all these little things that don’t really hurt anybody. Gay marriage? LEAVE THESE PEOPLE ALONE!! GAYS AND LESBIANS ARE PEOPLE TOO! We’re sitting here busting these people’s chops when we could be curing cancer or helping the poor, or making our schools less military/prison style. Fight the real problems in America. Dishonesty.

Penalty for being convicted of lying? Death by hanging. Please?

Now I know what you’re gonna say, “But Jay, everyone lies in time!”.

Yes that’s true, which means after were done hanging all of them, there’ll be a lot less spending, less need for all this welfare and social security, and less assholes driving north on 295 every afternoon!

Your thoughts?
-JC

I Want To Go Back

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I miss Florida so much. Words can’t describe the importance of having good friends, and those friends are the ones who made me a ham radio operator. It wouldn’t be so bad if I could contact them via radio, but I can’t. Of course returning to Florida brings back terrible memories of Tori and Ellen… I don’t know that I could ever overcome those..

I miss you..

A Good Series

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So Nick introduced me to the BBC series Robin Hood today. I’m a big fan of anything Robin Hood and frankly would just die to be him, of course I think by today’s standards I’d probably end up jailed. Anyway, the series is well done with the typical storyline and villains. Of course Marian is gorgeous as well. Played by Lucy Griffiths, she brings a bad girl image to the role. Very sexy I might add.

Check it out on Netflix Instant Queue.

-JC

It Doesn’t Pay To Be Nice…

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So an ex and I were talking today about things in our past life that hurt us and this and that, having what I thought was a completely plain conversation when all of a sudden she stopped replying. So I casually write “you must have gotten busy or fallen asleep, sweet dreams” and she replies back, “I have a life, sorry”.

Wow, I mean really, is that necessary? Here I am being completely civil and she just about tears my throat out.

What is it with women these days? I mean holy shit. Do they think rudeness is sexy now? I mean shit, why don’t you just step on my balls?

Fuck you…

Hilarity Ensues..

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Well if you know me then you know what’s coming.. Yep, I’m single again.. I think I’ve finally figured it out. The moment I blog about it, it’s over.. It’s just the way it happens.. Deserei has been trying to offload me for a little bit so today I figured, oh well, she probably has someone else, why else would she want to dump me this bad?

So I let her get her kicks..

Will I ever find true happiness?

A Perfect Weekend

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This weekend will go down in history as the first weekend I have ever spent with a girl where we did not argue, fight, breakup or hurt each other. Granted, getting to this weekend was a challenge, and almost cost us our relationship not once, but twice. But when the plans were finally laid in, and we met up, it became magic.

Our weekend was supposed to consist of an overnight stay in Manchester, NH, then a day trip to Boston, MA. However, we quickly realized that a trip to Boston with all our activities would cost a huge amount of money. So we passed on that idea for this weekend and plan to revisit it again in the future. Our “Plan B” consisted of keeping the overnight in Manchester, then traveling to the Mt. Washington Auto Road.

Saturday night, we met at Bayside Bowl, then drove together to Manchester to arrive at our hotel. After a romantic evening, we slept comfortably and woke up early the next morning had breakfast, and prepared for our journey North. We checked out of our hotel and traveled I-93 North through Concord to Mount Washington. It was a long drive, taking over 2 hours, but it was enjoyable.

We reached the Auto Road and started our climb, I have never been up Mt. Washington before, let alone traveled the Auto Road. It was a new experience, and I was driving, not only was I driving the road for the first time, I was driving a new car! Deserei’s car is a 2003 Mercury Grand Marquis. Now, I used to have an old Grand Marquis so I’m used to the wide stance, but holy cow, it was tricky getting up top. The road in places is not quite wide enough for two vehicles to pass side by side, and most of the road has very sharp and deep drainage cuts at the edge of the pavement. This means that if you accidentally get too far over to road’s edge, you will either slide off the road and onto your side, or proceed to rollover down the mountainside, the latter of those most likely ending up being fatal. During the climb we stopped at many turnouts to take pictures and let the car’s engine rest, overheating is apparently a concern as the auto road has strategically placed water barrels for radiators at key points along the road. I took many photos which I will be posting to facebook and I’ll post a couple here.

The summit was over 6000 feet in the sky, upon arrival, we parked, and got out. The air temperature at the base where we entered was 71F, at the summit it was 55F and dropping, and the wind was sustained at 25mph. We visited the Tip-Top House, an old boarding building used by travelers in the old days. We also visited the Summit Observatory Building where I had my photo taken on the roof. I had my Amateur Radio HT with me and made a contact on the Falmouth repeater (W1QUI) from the summit, my signal was reported to be strong and clear at 5 watts. The station I worked was off the coast of Maine in the Saco area. I wanted to try to scan for other stations while I was up there, but the temperature and winds were becoming painfully cold so we quickly retreated back down to the summit area and quickly walked around outside the Yankee Microwave building, and the remains of the old WMTW-TV and WHOM-FM transmitter sites. I know that WMTW-TV relocated their primary transmitter and antenna to Baldwin, Maine, however I’m not sure about WHOM-FM. It appears they (WHOM) may still use the summit as their primary and backup facility, however, I did not see a blockhouse, other than the existing Yankee Microwave building. For those of you that don’t know, in early 2003, a fire broke out in the Yankee Power Building at the summit. The power building and attached former transmitter facility for WMTW-TV were totally destroyed, as was the backup antenna for WHOM-FM. I believe the Armstrong tower, and WHOM’s primary antenna were both partially damaged as well. In any case, the fire completely knocked out power for the entire summit. Because all electrical power is generated on the summit, because of the lack of power, the summit was evacuated. (During this period of the year, the only occupants were the Weather Observatory Staff). A new power building has been built, and the summit is operational again. There are still numerous broadcast facilities at the summit and even a short visit would make that very obvious. One thing I did not see on the peak was a cell phone tower. Reception was spotty at best up there.

The trip down the road took slightly less time with a little help from gravity, and we reached the base safely where we then traveled home and spent our last few hours together in Old Orchard Beach playing mini-golf.

Deserei, you are spectacular, unlike any girl I’ve ever met. Hopefully this budding relationship will only get stronger and we will both remain happy in it together.

Thank you for a perfect weekend!

-JC

Photos:

A New Pair Of Eyes

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So after many years of wearing glasses, I finally got enough money together to get fitted for contacts lenses. After a thorough eye exam, I was told my eyes have not changed, and that contacts are definitely a possibility for me.

We did the fitting and he gave me a five day supply of trials. When I put the first set in it was very difficult, getting used to touching your eye and all that. But the moment I realized “wow, I can see and I’m not wearing glasses” it just blew me away.

I had my followup appointment today and we adjusted my prescription slightly, and got some more trials to use. I need to order my first supply of lenses next week, and those should last me a couple months.

I have had so many people tell me they don’t recognize me now without my glasses and that I look so much better. We’ll see if any women notice..

Until next time,

-Jay

Undateable…

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I wonder sometimes if I am undateable. I meet a woman who seems normal, we hit it off and see each other again, and then within a week or two it all gals to pieces. It doesn’t just gradually get bad, it completely falls apart. I don’t know what the issue is. Do people not care about relationships anymore? Is it only about sex in today’s society? If so, why aren’t I having more of it? Maybe I am undateable..

Happiness??

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So, after a long few weeks, I’m finally settled back in Maine. For those of you who haven’t heard, Victoria Morrill left one night while I was at work taking all of her belongings (and some of mine) and moved to an unknown location. I have not heard from her since. She took half the rent money a few days before it was due, and I had just finished my last night at work and was preparing to start working at Disney. So I was forced to basically pack all of what I could fit into my truck and abandon my Florida home. I had just enough money for gas to get home but my salary from Disney would not have been enough to pay rent, bills and gas to keep commuting so I had to abandon my Disney dream too. Meanwhile, both Victoria and her mom said “dont give up on your disney dream” and “if you give up on it, thats your choice, nobody elses”  BULLSHIT..  I was forced to give up on it because your little whore of a daughter decided to be a coward and leave me while I was at work, and leave only a note saying goodbye..

The good thing is that I no longer have to deal with her lies, her piss-poor attitude, her cheating and her psychotic mental problems… I’m finally free from her, and she can die for all I care..

Now..  the present-

So as I said, I’m back in Maine, and I happened to finally make something happen with someone very special who I had a short past with, and things went sour, but now we’re giving it another shot.. It’s still rough around the edges, but I think she’s great and I’m excited that shes not psycho, shes more caring than Victoria was, and she makes me feel like a person again…

=) so happy with you Liz.

-JC

Twilight Obsession – Rant One

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Ok, I have had enough… This nonsense is embarrassing.

This ridiculous Twilight obsession. Has it come to this, that the women of the world have reduced themselves so low that they obsess nonstop about this garbage? The series is based on a teenage girl who has a sexual fantasy about vampires. Seriously? This is what we’re exposing our children to? Teenage sexual fantasies about vampires?! Sounds Japanese to me.. there are people I know who sit on their computers all day long searching tv sites to find every single interview done with any of the movie’s cast, any commercial or trailer about the movie or anything at all to do with it..  This is unhealthy!!  Get out and take a walk for Christ’s sake!

I have a newsflash for you women who melt at the sight of these two retards Edward and Jacob…   THEYRE FAKE! THEY DONT FUCKING EXIST! IT’S A FUCKING MOVIE!!!!  All I see are girls saying “I want Edward” or “Where’s my Edward”. well, you’re in for a very sad realization that you’ll be waiting forever, because there’s no such thing. There’s no such thing as a “Perfect” guy much less a “Perfect” vampire.  Stop wasting your time obsessing over this bullshit franchise and do something productive with your life. All these movies and book and shit are is a cheap way for the writer Hollywood to take your money. Get smart!

An interest or a hobby is one thing…  An obsession is another, and can be very dangerous and bad for you. It can also ruin relationships that are far better for you than this movie.

I’m sure there’ll be more to come…

-Jay

Empty Relationships…

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If anybody knows more about them, it’s me..  I have been in and out of more empty relationships than I can count, and my current relationship is no different…  I am so tired of having a girlfriend that is only interested in speding time away from me doing ONLY what she wants to do, and if she has to do something that I want to do, its like pulling teeth. She has no interest in ANYTHING I do except Final Fantasy XI and that’s only because she has a girlfriend on there who she likes to badmouth me to. I have been planning to attent the STS-131 shuttle launch Monday morning and Tori knew about this launch, yet she changed her work schedule so that she could get out of going. Her excuse is that her work changed the schedule and she “forgot”. Even though I’ve been mentioning the launch every day?? Doubt it…

She is constantly putting work before her personal life, specifically me. She has become more and more distant from me and make it quite obvious that its intentional. Shes making it very clear to me that she wants to be with someone else or wants to be able to date around. Only problem is, we’re in a lease until November. So what am I supposed to do? I’m not leaving my home, and I doubt she will without pulling a huge scene like she did back in Maine. But I’m tired of living with a “girlfriend” who doesnt care about me.

What do I do?

-J

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